I was staring at the clock at 10.30 am.
Dread.
Still got lots of hours to go, till 5pm.
The moment where I get to see Dear.
But what I can say is, I never regret going to JW75.

The moment the clock strike 5pm, i turn around and started looking and found him immediately.
All the pain i felt in my body evaporate.
Was smiling all the way. Cant wait to hug him.
*sigh* Miss him lots.

The clock shows 5.25pm, and im still rooted at my position.
I was a bit restless coz I couldnt find dear anywhere.
I couldnt even bothered to talk to my bestfriend`s brother.
Just run over to him.

And what happen seriously zap all the energy that I previously felt when I saw him.
I was like so happy, called him dear and was all smile when I saw the look on his face.
I asked him whats wrong..
He just said nothing`s wrong and walked away.
Leaving me behind.
I was actually asked him again whats wrong. He said nothing.
Thats the first time I burst out at him..
And said, "If you feel like not fetching me, then dont!"
I was so sad and pissed of at the point.
He said that I took such a long time to leave the store.
Half of me just wanted to turn around and go home myself but half of me just missed him so much so I stay..
The latter half of me won..

I ignore him the whole time.
He light his cigarette and came to me, trying to hug me and say sorry..
I just slap his hand away and pretend to be busy adjusted my bag strap.
He came thrice but I still ignore him..
"Being a manager is not easy, he still havent take over from me. How can I just leave it like that!".. I said that to him.. My voice almost break.

I mean come one, I was looking forward to it and he went and spoil it for me..
In the end, I give in..
Coz I dont want to drag it any futher...
Then he send me home..
Till now, the feeling of sadness is there..
But I dont dare to say it out to him..
Coz he`s working right now..
Dont want to spoil it for him..

Now, still missed him..
Coz I spent those countless time fighting with him...
See you tomorrow dear.
Love you.

Being the second child in a family is not easy.
Especially if you have an older sister who have no intention of getting married so soon eventhough she reached the ripe age of 26.
So, me being the second will be doing first in almost everything, example, bringing your boyfriend over to meet your parents.

I was thinking when will be the appropriate time to introduce.
How will they react if he came along to our family outing, since the only male bonding he can get is with my dad.
Which will be no issue as he knows my dad. Plus my dad, the type who can strike up a conversation with anyone. Besides, guys have lots of topic to talk about. Petrol price went up, traffic jam at the cross junction (thats what my dad talk about with DEAR and friends and my dad dont even know he is my soon-to-be-fiance-in-one-years-time.)

The other issue I have to tackle is to get approval from my onni(sister). Besides getting approval from my parents.
As told by my mum, my sister wants the best for me and etc. So she will have to check his background and stuff. Before she open her mouth and ask me questions, I told her that DEAR is going to be a man of law soon. Which shut her up - for awhile. Then ask me to bring him to her.(??)
I was like, what? Mom and Dad never brought up this meeting-him issue.

Doubts swarm around in my head. Questions like, "what if my mom dont like him? What if my dad object?" threaten my sanity.
Im going crazy every night with this questions keep on popping in and out of my brain.
Forcing me to face my insecurities.
What if this joyous moment of finally meeting the one ended abruptly?
What if his parents dont agree as well?

Right now, I can already see the issue that we are going to face in the future.
That Im not allow to ride on his bike.
A number one rule my mom set for me.
Since we are seriously thinking of getting engaged next year, I should told him what my mom approve and disapprove.
This topic has always been a barrier between me and Dear.

I havent heard from him since I told him that.
Keep telling myself that he might be asleep as it was already late at night and he has to wake up early tomorrow for his appointment.
Tried calling him, but he never pick up.

Im feeling restless that I couldnt sleep.
Eventhough Im feeling a bit under the weather.
Eventhough i cant sit straight due to the pain on my right hip.
But still I try to be optimistic.

I hope Dear will message me in the morning.
Still got a long way to go.

Gosh, being the second child in the family is difficult.