Give you all my love,

No More Sad Song. . .

Thursday, February 24, 2005

I give up!
I give up in everything I thought I knew
I`m stress up!
I`m stress up in everything you do
I hate it!
I hate it when you push me around
I loathe it!
I loathe it when you shove me to the ground

I try to give you tons of chances
I try to give you tons of laughters
But it never enough for you
What else do you want me to do?

If im not good enough for you,
find someone else who can give you what you want..
Im only human who have one heart and one mind
Soon you will realise, that Im not the one..

Sorry..
But No More Sad Song for me!

Today is Tuesday.. The longers day of my life..

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Today I started at 9 but I reached school at 10:26..
Can`t blame me.. I woke up late..
Can`t sleep last night..
Sms-ing with yan..
He just got back from silat..
He gave me more bad news..
Hurt his 'dislocated' shoulder even worst..
Told him to relax but he can be quite persistent at times..
Right now at Internet Fundemental class..
Burn my finger just now at Digital Electronics Practical class..
Man, that feels good.. -yeah right!!
Today finish class at 6:00pm..
So "Mendak" man..
Haiz..
Funny thing is... why I didnt get warning letter?
For cutting classes which I always did..
WEIRD!!

Yesterday. . .

Friday, February 18, 2005

I saw USOP SANTORIAN..
3 times to be exact..
1^st when I was walking with yayah and liyana from class to canteen..
Saw him at block D..
Maybe he is a mechatronics student..
2^nd at I-net cafe..
He bought an ice cream..
My favourite flavour - Peppermint.
Hehehehe....
3^rd at the bus stop..
He was standing there with his friends..
Joking around..
I was in school from where I standing i can see..
Don`t know why..
But I just know its him..

This is my Confession

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Here I am, Sitting in my room
Thinking about the day gone by
Just hoping that love will bloom
But Im sorry, it just too soon

I know you love me
I know you need me
But I just can`t make you see
what`s inside of me

Everytime I hide my feelings inside
Everytime I cross my fingers and lie
It makes me hollow and empty inside
Crying alone in my room at night

You told me you miss me
I just sat there and smile
I know you`re waiting for me to reply
But I`m sorry I just can`t seem to try
It even harder for me to say goodbye

I try and I try and I try
But I just can`t seem to find
The love that I had left behind
By someone who messes with my mind

Im not sorry that I met you
Im not sorry that I care for you
But Im sorry that I couldn`t tell you
What Im feeling is not for you

Hope you understand
But my feelings is for someone else!

Change my mind..

Todae Im feeling moody... Maybe about what happen yesterday at 12 in the morning..
He tell me about him being choosen to represent Singapore in silat competition and needing the money for insurance bla bla bla... Whatever bullshit!!!! I work for myself.. even that is not enough. He expected me to lend him- what $165? Even my one month salary didnt achieve that much.. Im thinking twice about lending him.. Eventhough he is my so-called boyfriend, I still dont trust guys.. Yayah told me she heard rumours that he borrowed $300 from his silat friend.. That left me to wonder what he did with that money.. Why he needed the money in the first place.. What if he lie to me? Now Im having doubts in this relationship.. If I`ve known it is this difficult and stressful, I wouldn`t have accepted him in the first place.

But on the bright side, I saw Roxy and Usop santorian today.. even if only for awhile..

Man, I`m stress.. HELP ME GOD! Bismillah.. Show me the right way.. Amin.

Finally. . .

Monday, February 14, 2005

Today was a bad luck day.. i fell inside the bas... Pasieh man... ther were bruises on my leg.. When i sms anne she laugh at me.. "Kurang ajar btol".. Today, i went to compass point with yayah.. i was craving for this food.. dont know whats the name..When we were buying our food.. there was this guy who was making the bebola.. Si yayah go and say "Buat tak senonoh seh" then the guy looked up and stare at yayah.. Thats when we realize that he is malay.. Yayah feel embarrassed.. to cover it up, she say the guy give us the wrong product.. instead of prawn, he gave me octopus.. I say it prawn but she still insists it octopus... We went to eat at Captains Cook todae.. Man, was that delicious... fuhlamak... Power to the max..

Recap of what happen...
I forgive my boyfren... he explain it to yayah while i was listening in the background.. My heart go dentam dentum... He was sweet.. caring and understanding.. Under circumstances.. He gave me a necklace with a love locket.. for valentine`s day.. but he gave me five days in advance.. he told me it was 100 bucks but actually 120.. he slipped it out while talking to me about it. never in my life someone gave me stuff the cost more than my pay a week.. well, besides my family dat is.. This is my first time "celebrating" Valentine`s Day.. But he have silat so we cant go out.. I still cant get over the fact that my fren ask me to break up with him coz she doesnt like him.. Man, that is sad.. But i try not to let it effect my relationship..
By the way.. All three of my siblings now about me and him.. even my frens at work.. My big sister give me a warning not to let this thing get in the way of my study and myself.. understand, understood!! Of course i wont, i am raised as a muslim of course i wont do that "terkutuk" stuff. I am 19 and I have a brain to think... Come on, i am a big girl now.. Dont you think so???

Stop Pretending!!!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

[So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today
I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away]

**Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
Like I was special, cuz I was special.**

.:You don't know
You think you know me like yourself
But I fear
That you're only telling me what I wanna hear
But do you give a damn
Understand
That I can't not be what I am
I'm not the milk and cheerios in your spoon
Its not a simple hearing but not so soon
I might've fallen for that when I was fourteen
And a little more green
But its amazing what a couple of years can mean:.

-=Don't turn around
I'm sick and I'm tired of your face
Don't make this worse
You've already gone and got me mad
It's too bad I'm not sad
It's casting over
It's just one of those things
You'll have to get over it=-

This song is for a particular boy out there..
Hope YOU know who your are!!!!!
Man.. You sucks big time!!!

Today 3 feb 2005

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Right now Im in school. Feeling sad- again.
I had a fight with my mother early in the morning. I dont know what irks her. But she seems to put the blame on me. ME of all five people living in the house. WHATEVER!!!!!! I didn`t see any Ichiban van, no Roxy bag and no Usop Santorian cartoon... What a sad day!! Right Frena?? Kwang kwang... Hahahahaha... Aku dah sot.. giler... tebiat.. hahahaha...
Haiz...

"Somebody listen please, it use to be so hard being me.
Living in the shadow, of someone else`s dream.
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me."

T.R.U.E

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

You might think I dont look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
Im attached to you
Im weak
Its true
Cuz im afraid to know the awnsers
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You dont know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
Im afraid to move
Im weak
Its true
Im just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?

My day..

I am depressed today. A lot of things happened... Just started my lesson and I feel sad. Im not going to write it down but just keep it to myself. Because nobody knows about it.. nobody knows I like him. So there is no need to write what happened. Seriously, will anybody look at me? Im just "Plain Jane". But Im only human..